In this candid interview, CJ Stasik, Founder of SheHandlesIt.com shares how her journey from self-reliant independence to community-driven leadership helped her overcome fear, raise her hand for opportunities, and redefine what it means to be a woman in power. With her signature blend of no-nonsense wisdom and deep empathy, CJ offers real-world insights on confidence, resilience, and building a meaningful legacy.
From Independence to Impact: Why Community Changed Everything
Tell me more about how community has shaped your leadership journey and supported you to this point in your career?
Community is everything. The inner child in me, the way it turned out in adulthood, is that I needed to be very independent and that I had to do everything on my own. It made it really hard to even network. Going into networking just felt weird. Like, what do I have to say? Why am I just going to interrupt? These people don’t know me.
What I realized is that in order for me to lift up other women, I needed to allow other women to also lift up me. I needed to welcome them in. So community meant everything. I really just started listening when people talked—“Hey, you should come and visit this group, it might be good.” What’s the harm in checking it out? Whereas before, it was like, I’m too busy for that. I don’t have time.
Every event, I met someone that I could have a conversation with like we’re having. Mel Robbins just talked about it in her book Let Them. If you see someone doing something that you want, learn from them. That’s the mindset that I actually started taking—what can I learn from you?
Then the biggest thing in building a community that has made the most difference is: I learned to ask for what I wanted. I was always so afraid. I wanted speaking gigs, but I wouldn’t raise my hand because—well, what if they don’t like what I have to say? Or who am I? I didn’t go to school for this. I don’t have a degree for this. I just would never ask. I just kept waiting for an opportunity to present itself to me.
Whereas once I embedded myself into the community, I realized you have permission to raise your hand and say, “Hey guys, I need to meet someone like this,” or “I’m looking to do this,” or “I want to moderate panels.” That started opening up so many doors, which was wonderful.
Habits That Keep CJ Centered and Strong
What are the habits that have allowed you to get to where you are and reach success?
A lot of people can preach it, but being able to put it into practice is the key. I have a gratitude exercise that I do on a daily basis, and I usually do it in the mornings when I do yoga. At the end of yoga, when you’re just laying there and all is silent, I just allow my mind to go over the things that I’m happy for and grateful for. It sets the tone for the day.
But I take it a step further because we’re all busy and some mornings can be chaotic and they don’t turn out the way you want. I have a little Buddha that is in my car, on my desk at work, and in my bathroom. Every time I see the Buddha, I go through that same exercise—what am I happy for? What am I grateful for? It just continuously reminds me of what I’m working for.
If I’m leaving a meeting and it didn’t go really well and I’m frustrated, that Buddha is a reminder—what’s going well in your life? What are you thankful for? Then I show up for my next meeting without the baggage of the frustration I was carrying. That habit really keeps me grounded and keeps me sane.
Also, I believe in physical activity and nature. So I do a lot of hiking and a lot of kayaking, and that really allows me to stay centered. Your mind is clear, and it just brings you back.
I don’t believe in balance. So that’s another habit that I’ve learned to create for myself—being very comfortable with an integrated life. My calendar has both my personal and my work stuff all in it. My team can see all of it. I don’t look at my day as, “Okay, this is just my 9:00 to 5:00.” It’s not—because I’m a mom and I’m a spouse and I’m a coach and I’m a mentor. I’m all of these different things. Everything has to fit into the same time constraints. So those are some of the things I do that keep me on the right track.
Helping Women Say Yes to Their Next Chapter
What can we do to help more women step into new opportunities that are presented to them?
The biggest thing that we can do to build women’s confidence is help them understand how important it is to find a community. No matter what it is—surround yourself with women who are like-minded. But it’s even more important to try to surround yourself with women who are doing the things you’re wanting to do, because that automatically changes your mindset.
Learning to look at other women not as competition is the other big piece. If I look at what you’re doing and think, “Well, she’s already helping tons of women. She’s got all this stuff out. She’s doing it. There’s no reason for me to do it,” then I’m not serving the community that’s waiting for me. Our messaging can be different. We can work together to continue moving it forward because it’s not about me.
What holds people back is fear. But it isn’t necessarily fear of what may happen. It’s the fear of: What if I do this and it goes well? That does drive a lot of women.
“I don’t have time. I don’t have the money to make this successful. I don’t have the time to put into this. What if I do this and it goes really well and then I can’t continue to work the job that I’m in?” It’s all of these what-ifs that come into our heads and kind of hold us back.
Then there are the normal fears—What if I get rejected? What if they say no? But the reality is that until you try it, you’re not going to know. Even once you try it—let’s say you decide you want to run a workshop and two people show up—guess what? You just successfully ran a workshop. You practiced your speech. You went through the slide deck. And now you do it again. The next time maybe four women show up. The next time, maybe ten.
If you help that one person, that’s all that matters. I do a lot of that when I talk about social media and best practices. You don’t write a post for the many—you write a post for the one. For the one person you hope reads it and it resonates. When you do that, you actually start to reach those people.
What CJ Would Change for Women
If you had to change a rule for women, what would it be?
I would get rid of the superwoman myth. It’s exhausting to think about the fact that most women believe they have to be everything for everyone.
It would be breaking it down and helping them realize that being a superwoman doesn’t mean you’re doing it all—it just means you’re getting shit done, which is drastically different.
We take in everything and do it ourselves because—one—we don’t think anybody can do it the way we’re going to do it. Two—it’s just easier, especially when you think about your home life. Asking your kids to do a chore is like dragging nails on a chalkboard sometimes. You’re like, “You’re going to do it half-ass. It’s not going to be done well. I’m just going to do it.”
But when we do that, what we’re really doing is overwhelming ourselves, creating burnout, and building resentment. That resentment comes out and looks like a short fuse. A lot of women don’t realize that. When you’re on edge, you need a minute, your kids are bothering you—it’s because you’re overwhelmed and you’re burnt out. It’s not because you’re in a bad mood or “at capacity.”
If we could get women to realize that they don’t have to be everything for everyone, and that they don’t have to do it all to be successful, that would be a huge game changer. The shift is starting to happen. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t happen for most women until they’re in their 40s. That’s when they realize they’ve been living their life based on what everyone else says they’re supposed to do.
The Legacy CJ Hopes to Leave
What’s the legacy that you want to leave behind?
I truly want my daughter to be able to pick up where I left off. I want women to feel like it’s worth it to empower each other. That’s the biggest legacy.
When I’m gone from this earth, I want people to say: She made an impact. She uplifted women around her. It’s not about me. It’s about the future that I’m trying to build—for my daughter, for your daughter, for all the women that are up and coming.
Because I don’t want people to have to wait until they’re 40 years old to feel self-worth, to feel like they deserve a place, to feel like they should be treated kindly, to realize that they don’t have to be in a narcissistic relationship.
We shouldn’t have to wait until we’re 40 years old to feel good about ourselves and to figure out who we are. We know at like 16. Society just squashes it. And that’s where a lot of rebellion kind of comes in—because we know who we want to be.
My husband and I got married in September. I tell him, I feel like a 16-year-old again. I really do. It has to do with him, but it also has to do with how we interact with each other and the level of happiness. I really feel like I’m back to 16. And here I am at 45. I’m like I can do it.
CJ Stasik is the founder of SheHandlesIt.com, a platform dedicated to empowering high-achieving women. A passionate leader, speaker, and mentor, CJ helps women navigate leadership, overcome self-doubt, and design a life they love. With a no-nonsense yet deeply empathetic approach, she shares real-world insights on resilience, growth, and the power of intentional leadership.
