In this interview, Dr. Nicole Lipkin opens up about how motherhood, loss, and life’s inevitable shifts have shaped her view of success, ambition, and balance—and the habits that help her stay grounded along the way.
How Motherhood and Life Changes Reshaped Success
What is your definition of success today?
My definition of success is so different from what it used to be. Becoming an older mom and living through everything that’s happened in the world over the past several years, especially since COVID, has changed my perspective. Honestly, going through perimenopause has also reshaped how I define success, because that changes everything.
Now, success means time freedom. It’s having time with the people I love, my family, my friends. It’s doing creative things that fulfill me. It’s choosing who I work with instead of feeling forced to work with everyone. It’s about partnering with people who are a good fit and who I can truly help, instead of saying yes to everything.
Another part of it, though I’m not religious, is getting in touch with my spirituality, a side of myself I completely ignored for years, and allowing myself to have meaningful experiences. It’s never been about money. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with it, but I was never motivated by it. Success, to me, is about doing what I love, being with people I love, and living the life experiences I want to have.
Balancing Ambition with a Life Built on Purpose
What does the life that you love look like, and how do you balance your ambition with building that life?
My ambition has changed as I’ve gotten older. To explain that, I have to start from the beginning. I lost my parents young, and that shaped a lot of who I am. They were wonderful people who emphasized our social-emotional well-being and mental health. They helped me build resilience. Losing them didn’t crush me; I’ve still had a great life, but the way I coped was by throwing myself into things.
I’ve never been an entrepreneur focused on just one thing. Some people say we glorify entrepreneurship, but one downside, if you truly have that entrepreneurial personality, is that every new grand idea feels irresistible. It’s hard not to chase them all. That’s been my struggle. I’ve always worked in threes: three businesses, three degrees.
One of the things that’s kept me from living my ideal life is not focusing on just one thing. I’ve often distracted myself with too many ideas, and I haven’t always been disciplined with my vision. I can clearly see what my life design should be and could be, but I’m not living it fully yet.
The Habits That Keep Her Grounded and Thriving
What are the habits that help you show up the way that you do?
A lot of what I do is mental, if I’m honest. On the tangible side, movement is huge for me; it’s essential to my emotional well-being. But I used to be really hard on myself about it. I had an all-or-nothing mentality with fitness and nutrition: if I didn’t stick to it perfectly, I’d trash-talk myself.
Eventually, I realized that everything in life is constantly evolving, but our expectations of ourselves and others can be so rigid. I learned that whenever I caught myself talking negatively about myself to others, that was a sign of a rigid expectation. Paying attention to that was a major shift for me.
Another big change was giving up control in certain areas. I used to wake up at 5 a.m. to work out while my husband slept. Eventually, he got into it too, and now he’s the one who motivates us. Letting go of that control was surprisingly freeing.
I still wake up early to work out and have quiet time before my child wakes up; that’s everything for me. I also use that time for self-growth. As a therapist, I’m very aware of mindset and cognitive distortions. The way we think affects how we feel and how we show up. I work hard on how I think, and I don’t let thoughts spiral out of control. I talk things through with trusted people instead of keeping them in my head, because I’ve learned that unspoken thoughts just grow bigger.
I also rely on routines. I sleep and wake at the same time every day. I keep my meals simple and my wardrobe minimal, basically uniforms, so I don’t waste mental energy on decisions. I’m also learning to block out time for deep work and to protect that time.
Finally, I’ve been setting stronger boundaries. I used to check email first thing in the morning, but now I use that time for self-development. I’ve stopped pushing my wake-up time earlier and started making time for the things that actually bring me joy.
Why Some Women Hold Back from Opportunity
Why do you think some women don’t take risks or lean into opportunities that come their way?
It comes down to psychology, the messages we’ve received, the ones we’ve chosen to believe, and the internal scripts we repeat. How we define ourselves becomes part of our identity. Throughout life, we’re flooded with messages, some positive and some negative, but the ones we hold on to shape how we show up.
This is the beauty and complexity of being human: the inner voice and the stories we tell ourselves matter. It takes work to recognize those messages and to reshape the narrative. Some of them are loud and obvious, while others are subtle but deeply impactful. The subtle ones are often the hardest to spot, and sometimes, they’re the ones that shape us most.
The Legacy She Hopes to Leave Behind
What legacy do you hope to leave?
I chose a life of helping people. I want to have a positive impact, whether on a large scale or small, and to bring laughter and lightness into people’s lives. I want to be known for contributing something good to the world.
Raising a kind, respectful human being is also a huge part of my legacy. That’s deeply important to me. In the end, I just want to make a positive difference, wherever and however I can.
About Dr. Nicole Lipkin
Nicole Lipkin, Psy.D., MBA, is a clinical and organizational psychologist, author, executive coach, keynote speaker, and founder of Equilibria Leadership Consulting and HeyKiddo. She helps leaders, teams, and parents navigate the mental and emotional challenges of modern life with science-based strategies and real-world honesty. Nicole’s work blends psychology, storytelling, and humor to make complex ideas accessible and actionable.
