Some conversations stay with you long after they end. This is one of them. In this interview, Erika Rothenberger reflects on the role community played in saving her life after a brutal assault, and how that same sense of connection continues to shape her leadership, success, and legacy today. With honesty, grace, and unmistakable audacity, Erika shares how leaning on others became her oxygen, how redefining success allowed her to show up as her truest self, and why impact — not accolades or titles — is the measure that matters most. From her work as a thought leader, keynote speaker, author, and host of the Grit, Grace & Glitz Podcast, to her advocacy for survivors, Erika’s story is a powerful reminder that we are not meant to do life alone and that community can be the very thing that carries us through our darkest moments and into bold expansion.
Content Note: This interview includes discussion of physical assault and trauma. We share Erika’s story with care and respect for all survivors.
The Day Her Life Split Into Before and After
You’ve spoken about a moment that changed the course of your life. Can you share what happened and how it shaped who you are today?
I think the audacity was always buried in me, but where it really came out was three and a half years ago.
It was June 16th, 2022. A day like any other. Fairly nice outside. My husband was in Kansas City. My two kids were with the sitter. I pulled into the parking lot I had worked in for 10 years and took that last sip of pink Himalayan sea salt water because someone on Instagram said it would give me glowing skin. I’m still trying to figure that out. I remember sitting there and leaving my kids a video, reminding them to have an awesome day.
What I didn’t know was that when I opened my car door, there he was. A man I had never seen before. I asked, “Sir, can I help you?”
And as that last word came out of my mouth, he punched me straight in the face. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me onto the pavement. He punched me over and over. I wasn’t even counting. I just felt like a rag doll. Not even human.
I did everything I could. Kicking, screaming, biting, yelling. I had been a kickboxer for a long time, but I wasn’t going to overcome his strength. He was an ex boxer.
Then his elbow came underneath my neck, and he squeezed. At that moment, I thought it was the last breath I would ever take. The last time I would be a mom to Adelyn and Drew. The last time I would be a wife to Andy. And then I passed out.
About 45 seconds later, I came back to consciousness. I didn’t know where I was, but my body took over. I got up and ran for my life. That office building had never felt so far away. I remember looking over my shoulder and seeing him in my car. I made it inside and screamed for help.
The next 72 hours were a blur. Trauma care. Detectives. Police reports. Trying to put my safety and my health back together. What I later learned was that he fled on foot, but dogs and drones found him. He had been in prison for 12 years. The night before, he had assaulted multiple women. That morning, before he attacked me, he had sexually assaulted another woman.
That punch taught me everything. I remember sitting on my porch days later, not knowing how to put my life back together. And then I heard my kids laughing in the pool. At that moment, I realized I had a choice. I could remain a victim, become a survivor, or become a thriver.
I chose to thrive.
My kids deserved a mom who would show up. Who would fight not just for herself, but for others who may face something like this. Through therapy, setbacks, and growth, I realized that moment shaped me. It led me to help others, write a book, speak on stages, and share my story. Most importantly, it allowed me to show my children that life will bring punches. Everyone has their own. But it’s what we choose to do afterward that defines us.
That’s where the audacity was truly born.
When Community Became Her Oxygen
What was the role that community played throughout your journey, particularly after your assault?
Community was my oxygen. The doctors, the lawyers, the police, they were all great, but it really was my sister who immediately jumped in the car without thinking and drove three and a half hours to be at the hospital. My husband jumped back on a plane without even a thought, flying from Kansas City to get back home. My best friend drove hundreds of miles to be with me the next day. The community came and surrounded me and truly wrapped me in so much love, honor, grace, and strength, because at that point I was really weak.
If it were not for the community, I do not think I would be here today. I truly believe that it was my medicine and my oxygen, above and beyond any therapist, above and beyond any final sentencing. It was the community that surrounded me.
I have an acronym that I use in a lot of the keynotes that I do, and it is called BOLD. The L is Lean on Others. Be willing. We are not meant to do life alone. We are meant to lean on others. We are meant to have people who will lift us up, no matter what life hits us with. The good, the bad, the indifferent, the days you want to throw the towel in. We do not have to be ashamed. We do not have to wear it like a badge of honor that we did it all by ourselves, because that community is what really elevated me and got me through some of the darkest times of my life.
The D is Develop Others. How can you be that light for other people? Because it does come full circle. The older I get, the more I realize that is the legacy you want to leave. It is not the money in the bank account or the car that you drove. It is, did I make an impact? Did I leave the world a little better than I found it?
Why Authentic Alignment Became Her True Measure
What is your definition of success today?
Everyone’s definition of success is different. For me, success is happiness and feeling audaciously aligned with what I want to do. For so many years, especially being in a male-dominated world, I worried about wearing the blue navy suit. Am I following the rules? Am I staying on the straight and narrow path?
Once I started letting that go and realized I was going to bring my authentic self to the table, my definition of success evolved and changed, because I realized I could be my true self.
To me, success is when you can show up and be you, whatever that looks like. That is the pink pants. That is writing the book. That is running the marathon. That is being a mom, being a dad, whatever it is.
It also comes full circle. Success is when you start to see it instilled in other people that you made an impact on, whether it is your kids, someone you mentor, or a colleague at work. To me, that is the pinnacle of success.
It is not the fancy title or the shiny new car. All that stuff is great, but those are external things. If you can wake up every day, feel passionate about the work you are doing, and be genuinely excited, then you are living a successful life. To be surrounded by community, to have purposeful work, to have your health, and to know you are leaving the world with just a little bit of your sparkle each day.
My big thing is that 2%. What are you doing every day to give just a little bit more? Consistency is everything.
Letting Go of Armor and the Need to Prove Everything
What is a hard lesson that you have had to learn on your journey so far?
One of the hardest parts for me, especially being in a male-dominated world for the last two decades, was feeling like I had to have thick skin and show up almost stronger than everyone else.
One of my bosses reminded me, you do not always have to win. I had a very competitive nature. At first, I thought he was crazy and insulting me. But the older we get, the wiser we get.
I recognized that I was putting on this façade, this armor every day, trying to be like them. What I realized is I did not need to be them. I could bring more of my feminine flow and allow the process to exist in that environment, creating a completely different dynamic.
It was not always a chess game. It was not always about strategy. It was about allowing myself to let go of certain things.
I think of a simple example. I remember feeling like, in order to be a good mom, I had to bake the brownies. But what I recognized is I did not need to show up in every capacity. If I did not want to bake the brownies, there was someone else who had a bakery, and I could buy the brownies.
In any part of your life, you do not have to do everything. It is okay not to live in a constant competitive state. Just because someone else is doing something does not mean you have to do it.
The older I get, the more I realize that is not success. That was a hard lesson. Anytime I feel like I am supposed to do something that I do not really want to do, I remind myself, someone else can bake the brownies.
The Daily Ritual That Keeps Her Grounded and Expanding
What are some of the habits that allow you to reach that definition of success?
Being an Aries and a firstborn, I have always loved structure, and I thrive in it. I am a true morning person. I believe the things I accomplish before 6 a.m. set the foundation for my entire day.
I have something called my 3-3-30 method.
Three minutes to myself every morning. People say, how is three minutes enough time to do anything? But we all can find three minutes. Whether it is setting your intention, prayer, meditation, or simply breathing, we can all find three minutes to invest in ourselves before we pick up the phone, before we doom scroll, before we start the day.
Then three intentional gratitude. Be very specific. For example, falling asleep next to my daughter as she told me about her lip sync. To really feel that moment and write it down. When you write it down, you reinforce that gratitude and train your mind to recognize the good things instead of the negativity.
With so many repetitive and negative thoughts each day, it is easy to fall into that mindset. But when you start and end your day with gratitude, it is amazing how your perspective shifts.
Then find 30 minutes each day to invest in yourself. Maybe that is yoga. Maybe it is writing the first page of a book. Maybe it is being on a podcast. Whatever it is, find that time every day to work toward something meaningful.
We all have things we have to do. But what are the things you get to do? Yes, I have to empty the dishwasher, but how lucky am I to have a dishwasher, to have clean dishes, to have a home?
When you shift that mindset, you start to notice the smallest things. The sunset. The sunrise. The quiet moments others might miss.
Breaking Free From the Need to Be Perfect
What advice would you give younger Erika?
Looking back, I would tell myself I did not have to fit into a cookie-cutter mold or show up perfectly. There is no universal definition of perfect, but I created one for myself.
Achievement became a badge of honor. I still struggle with that. My love language is accolades. Through therapy, especially after the assault, I recognized that my way of coping was through doing, achieving, and saying yes to everything.
At the end of the day, I had to ask myself, was I doing it for the right reasons? Or was I doing it because it looked good, or because it was what society expected?
About Erika Rothenberger
Erika Rothenberger is a media personality, thought leader, and dynamic keynote speaker on Audacity. She has appeared on FOX News and been featured across multiple notable media outlets. In 2025, she was named Dynamic Woman of the Year by Philly Style / Modern Luxury Magazine, recognizing her impact on leadership, empowerment, and women’s advancement.
Erika is the author of You’ve Got This, Boss Mama and the forthcoming Audacious Expansion, releasing February 22, 2026—a powerful exploration of her core belief that adding weight isn’t a burden; it’s the builder of audacious expansion. She is the founder of the sold-out Audacious Women’s Summit, debuting October 17, 2025, and host of the widely respected Grit, Grace & Glitz Podcast, where she highlights stories of leadership, resilience, and bold reinvention.
Professionally, Erika serves as Director of Performance Systems at Henkels & McCoy, combining her engineering background with her passion for developing people, high-performance cultures, and organizational strength. An accomplished entrepreneur, she has built thriving ventures in real estate, wellness, and leadership coaching.
As a staunch advocate and survivor of a brutal assault, Erika uses her platform to elevate domestic violence awareness and inspire others to reclaim their power. With electrifying presence and transformational storytelling, she moves audiences to think deeper, lead stronger, and rise audaciously.
