Shelby Fahrni is a powerhouse in an apron — an executive chef, entrepreneur, and founder of The Cooking Studio, a hands-on culinary school she launched with just $100 and a big dream. Her journey has taken her from Food Network fame to hosting sold-out retreats in Tuscany and launching a thriving online platform. But behind the accolades is a deeply intentional woman crafting not just recipes, but a life centered around freedom, emotional honesty, and community. In this interview, Shelby opens up about mindset, messy action, redefining success, and the power of building a life you love.
Building a Life You Love, on Your Own Terms
When you think about building and living a life that you love, what does that look like for you?
Building a life that I love, right now, for me, means starting with what I want in my life first — planning that — and then making the business work around it. I love traveling. So, how can I travel with my own business? How can I travel for work?
We started doing culinary immersion retreats. It’s literally renting out a villa somewhere, bringing people for a week, and nerding out about all the food culture there. We talk to producers, do cooking classes in the region, and learn about the history of the food.
When I’m scheduling out my week and month, I start with what’s really important to me. If you look at my Outlook calendar, there’s a 30-minute segment every day for reading. There’s a 30-minute section for learning Spanish. Then I have time for working out — I usually go to Pilates or the gym. That all goes in first, and then I plan my day.
When I first started this business, it was easy to just say, “I’m working all the time.” I chose my hours, but I also chose to work constantly. Now, I plan when I start working and when I stop.
Habits That Anchor Success and Growth
What are some of the habits that allow you to be successful in your role?
I do a lot of mindset work. I was wired, or maybe still am wired, to have a lot of limiting beliefs or “tall poppy syndrome,” like: don’t be the best you can be because you’ll get cut down.
Each day I start with something called an “Upward Spiral Guide.” It’s a two-page document that asks questions like: “Who is Shelby? Who is the best version of Shelby?” It’s almost like a vision board, but tangible — something I can read. It includes everything from personal goals to financial, business, and spiritual goals. Who am I, and how do I want to show up in the world? I read that every day.
I try to meditate. When I first opened the studio, I was really consistent with my meditation practice. Lately, it’s been hard for me to sit still. Sometimes I’ll go for a walk instead or do a short yoga session.
Another habit is reading every day and practicing Spanish. Practicing Spanish has actually helped me with my English communication because I start thinking more carefully about how I speak, including how we talk to ourselves.
For example, in English we say, “I’m sad,” which feels so definite. But in Spanish, it’s more like, “I’m feeling sad right now.” It’s not a permanent state. No feeling is permanent.
The Power of Community Through Cooking
How has community helped you along your journey up to this point?
When I started teaching, it was purely from a selfish love. I loved how I felt after I taught. But within the first three classes, I realized the sense of community The Cooking Studio gave people. It’s super powerful to do the same thing together, much like a yoga class where everyone’s in down dog. We’re all rolling gnocchi together, or making sushi, and then we’re sharing that experience. Then, we all sit at one table to enjoy the meal and talk.
In a post-pandemic world, we’re all craving more community. Memberships are down in traditional ways of meeting people. So it’s powerful to see that we’re literally building the table for community, if you will, at The Cooking Studio.
We just launched our online education platform, and it’s truly turning into a community on Skool (which I think is going to be the new Instagram). Our members are coming together there and talking to each other and it’s really cool to watch that happen.
Navigating Imposter Syndrome with Truth and Tools
How do you navigate through imposter syndrome?
I gaslight myself with the Upward Spiral Guide when I’m more emotional about it. When I’m feeling more rational, I just look at the facts: This business supports a team of six. I don’t have another job. Obviously, we’re doing something right. We’re paying the bills. People keep coming.
Messy Action and Rewriting the Rules for Women
How do we help women feel more empowered to take opportunities presented to them?
I think it comes down to “good girl” conditioning, the idea that you have to be good to be loved. You have to have your shit together. You have to take perfect action.
But we need to normalize taking messy actions. Normalize not being perfect. It’s okay if you don’t cook for your partner because you’re busy building your business.
There’s been a huge empowerment movement for women since I was a kid. But with that came this added pressure: “You have to be successful.” Well, how are we defining success? Does it just mean you’re hot, skinny, and rich? Or are there other ways to define it?
Redefining What Success Looks Like
How do you define success today?
Freedom over my time is success. That’s not something I thought would matter so much when I started but now, it matters more than anything.
Like: “I’m going to go visit my mom in Missouri.” Or “I’m going to take a week off and go to Oaxaca because I want to.”
Emotions as a Compass, Not a Weakness
If you could change the rules for women, what’s one rule you’d change for us moving forward in 2025?
Women are always told to be less emotional. But I say: be more emotional. Your emotions are your guiding compass. If you don’t feel good about something, let everybody know. If you’re mad, be mad.
That’s something I really struggled with. I come from a Midwest Army family. There was a lot of conditioning around being good, following the rules, not being heard, not moving in church, all of that.
Even in corporate America, I worked at a corporate restaurant chain, my early annual reviews and one-on-ones were always about me needing to be less emotional. But that’s who I am. I’m an empath. I feel everything. It’s my superpower.
The more you tap into your emotions, feel them, and express them in a healthy way, the stronger your intuition becomes. And that helps not just in life — but in business.
A Legacy of Transparency, Courage, and Possibility
What legacy do you want to leave in your lifetime?
I want people to say, “If she did it, I can do it.”
I try to be really transparent on my personal Instagram about everything I go through as a business owner. Instagram culture is about showing up like: “Look at this! I’m at my first paid speaking gig!” or “I’m on a podcast!” or “I’m on the cover of a magazine!”
But the reality might be: “I’m going through a divorce. We just paid so much in taxes I’m worried about cash flow. I had a mental breakdown yesterday.” Even though I’m at the Ritz-Carlton in Florida and it looks great — the truth is, I could be in a low place right now.
Shelby Fahrni is a chef, entrepreneur, and founder of The Cooking Studio — a hands-on culinary school that started with just $100 and a big dream that’s grown to include an online education platform. She’s been featured on Food Network’s Chopped and Guy’s Grocery Games, led sold-out culinary retreats in Tuscany, and taught thousands how to cook with confidence. Shelby’s work blends soulful cooking, and community — helping people find joy and purpose through food.
Photo credit: Kiernan Rome
