In this article, Hillary Brewer reflects on how community, habits, and personal growth have shaped her sense of fulfillment. She shares honestly about navigating life without a fully rooted local community, while staying connected to meaningful relationships from afar. Through her perspective on success, daily habits, and learning to trust herself, she explores what it means to build a life that feels grounded, intentional, and aligned.
When Your Strongest Support System Lives Far Away
How has community played a role in shaping the person you are today?
I don’t feel like I’ve found my true community in Philadelphia, at least not during the time we’ve lived here. I’ve relied heavily on my community from afar, whether that’s my biological sisters, my sorority sisters, or people I used to work with in another state.
I don’t think I ever really immersed myself in the Philadelphia community. I’m a huge Philadelphia sports fan, but it’s not like we have a group of people we go to games with. Usually it’s just my husband and me, which is still fun, but we haven’t really found our people yet. That’s been challenging.
When I moved here, I wasn’t intentional about building community for myself. I just assumed it would happen naturally, and that hasn’t really been the case.
Finding Joy in the Everyday Again
What is a life that you love, and are you living it today?
I would define a life I love as waking up happy and feeling invested in what I’m going to do that day. Being excited about the potential of the day ahead.
I think I live that life some days more than others. Life has challenges, and you just have to keep moving through them. But for the most part, yes.
It’s also become easier recently. My husband had been unemployed for the better part of three years, and watching him finally find purpose again through a job has made me feel more comfortable and more grounded. It’s helped me feel more like I’m living a life I truly love.
Movement, Reading, and Learning to Slow Down
What habits allow you to keep doing the work that you do and live a life you love?
Sometimes I love leaning into being a little domestic. Reading has really become “me time” for me. I didn’t used to read much. I watched an HBO show and found it so interesting that I wanted to read the book it was based on. After that, I realized I needed to read more.
It feels like a way to exercise my brain while also stepping outside of reality for a little while, which is really nice.
I also work out regularly. I do yoga, BodyPump, spin classes, barre, kind of on a random rotation. A lot of my habits revolve around investing in myself and spending time alone with my thoughts, for better or worse.
I keep reminding myself that a body in motion stays in motion. Moving my body feels good physically, but it also gives me space to process thoughts that I probably wouldn’t sit with otherwise.
Sometimes the workout itself doesn’t even feel particularly productive, but either my body feels better afterward or my mind does. Rarely do both feel completely aligned at the same time, but movement gives me that reflection time.
When I’m at home, it’s easy to go on autopilot: make dinner, do laundry, decide what show we’re watching that night. But when I’m alone in a yoga class setting an intention, or in spin class pushing through something hard, it becomes this reminder to myself that I can do difficult things.
Why the Smallest Habits Can Feel the Hardest
Are there habits that have been more challenging to develop?
Honestly, the simple habits are the hardest for me.
I feel like I have pretty strong willpower. If I really want to do something, I’ll eventually make it happen. I may not know exactly how or when, but I’ll get there.
The difficult part is the small, repetitive habits, like drinking water before coffee in the morning instead of immediately jumping into the day. Those little routines are harder for me to maintain consistently.
The bigger habits feel easier because I can commit to them mentally. I can tell myself, “Yes, you can take one hour this week and finish this project.” But the tiny daily habits are the ones I struggle with the most.
Becoming Your Own Biggest Believer
What holds women back from pursuing opportunities?
I think we’re often our own worst enemies.
I’m lucky to have an amazing group of hype girls who are always telling me, “You have to do this.” But in my own mind, I’m thinking, “I’m not ready. I don’t have the skill set.”
Then I have to become the person reminding myself that I actually do have what it takes.
I think a lot of that comes from how women have been raised over time. Somewhere along the way, many of us lost the ability to confidently say, “I’m ready for what’s ahead of me.”
Looking Successful Isn’t the Same as Feeling Fulfilled
How would you define success today?
To me, success is happiness. It’s feeling happy with your life and with what you’re doing.
That doesn’t only apply to your career. You should feel happy in your relationships and your partnerships too. Of course, it would be amazing to feel fulfilled in your career as well, and if you have both of those things, that’s a blessing.
One reason I’ve struggled with the idea of success is because I think I look successful on paper, which I know you’ve talked about before, but I don’t always feel happy.
Right now, I feel more fulfilled in my partnership than I do in my career. I’m still trying to figure out how to balance the two.
Growth Often Begins With Being Wrong
What’s a hard lesson you’ve had to learn in life?
A hard lesson for me has been realizing that I’m not always right, which sounds incredibly conceited to admit.
Whether it’s relationships, work, or life in general, you’re always going to encounter people with different perspectives. Your opinion isn’t automatically the correct one.
You can still believe in your own values and ideas, but disagreement is inevitable. And honestly, disagreement pushes you. It stretches you.
That feeling of being stretched can be uncomfortable, but it’s also part of growth.
Helping Someone Else Believe in Themselves
What legacy would you like to leave behind?
I’d love to know that I helped at least one person believe in themselves and that I was a good friend to them.
I think we all need more friendship and support in our lives. Going back to the beginning of this conversation, everyone needs someone in their corner.
If I could leave even one person feeling more uplifted, more confident, or more prepared to face whatever’s ahead of them, that would feel meaningful to me.
I don’t need to change the world. I’d just like to help a few people along the way.
Meet Hillary Brewer
Hillary Brewer is a marketing and communications professional who advocates for the Oxford comma and has never met a deadline she didn’t love. She is a travel enthusiast who loves meeting new people and can often be found chatting about the book she’s currently reading. Originally from North Carolina, Hillary is a Philadelphia Eagles fan by marriage and lives in the heart of the city with her husband, Kyle. While she loves an Italian hoagie, she also sometimes misses the southern comforts of Cheerwine, Cook-Out, and Nashville hot chicken.
