In this interview, Jackie Appel shares how community, self-reflection, and a willingness to redefine success have shaped both her career and the life she’s built outside of work. From navigating career transitions to competitive powerlifting and motherhood, she reflects on the importance of surrounding yourself with people who encourage you to grow, evolve, and make bold moves.
Community Can Change the Way You See Yourself
Tell me how community has been a part of your journey to this point, and also how it supports the work you are doing now.
I have always thought of myself as a bit of a outsider who was not really part of any group in particular. However, when I completed a peer- and self-reflection exercise in graduate school, the feedback I received was that I am actually a community builder. I am the person who takes the reins, invites people in, holds space for them, and connects them. That was an eye-opening realization for me because I had not necessarily viewed that quality as an asset. I simply thought I was somewhat personable, even if I did not always feel like I fit into existing groups. At the same time, I was great at picking individuals out of those groups, collecting them, and connecting them with others so everyone could flourish. Eventually, I realized I could do that for myself as well.
I intentionally sought out friends who valued community, especially when I moved to Philadelphia from New York. Having a diverse community with people from different walks of life and career backgrounds expanded my understanding of what a career could look like. It showed me that success looks different for everyone, whether you are a makeup artist or working in the music industry, and that our choices should fulfill us in multiple ways.
Gaining those diverse perspectives was deeply helpful because when I worked in finance, many people valued the same type of corporate achievements. Meeting people who were intentional about building community in other areas of their lives gave me a much better work-life balance and allowed me to feel more excited about my professional life, since work became just one piece of a larger whole.
I use those same connection skills in my job today as I manage a team of three employees in Hyderabad, India. My goal is to help them feel connected to our broader team, empower them, and support their growth as they transition out of a siloed support-desk role into a role that is more dynamic and open-ended. Sharing my own experiences and talking with them about how they can build community with one another has been very effective. Modeling vulnerability and seeing what comes back in return has been an important part of that process.
Success Gets Bigger When Work Is Only One Piece of the Picture
If you were to write the definition of success for you today, what is it?
Success today means being happy and content enough that I have the space and opportunity to challenge myself. It means being present for the small moments with my kids, which are so much more exciting than I ever anticipated before becoming a parent. It means having the time to enjoy the people I love and do the things I enjoy while still showing up as my authentic self.
Success is still tied to my career in some ways. Doing a job well will always be a core value of mine because I am a perfectionist and an “A” student at heart, even when my boss encourages me to settle for being a “B” student. The satisfaction of a job well done will always matter to me, but I no longer define success solely by the traditional career ladder.
My definition of success is much broader now. It includes losing 90 pounds after having my first child, keeping it off, and becoming a powerlifter who inspires other women and friends to start lifting. Having the time for those passions, while making homemade berry jam and bread for my kids, bringing in a salary, and maintaining an identity independent of being a wife and mother, is what success looks like to me.
Sometimes the Life You Want Looks Different Than You Imagined
When you think about the life that you love, are you living it? And what does that look like for you?
I am living it, and in some ways I am not, because I still occasionally think back to the life I originally envisioned. For instance, I thought we would live in South Philadelphia forever and that it was our permanent home. But circumstances change.
One of the main reasons we ended up leaving South Philadelphia was my reaction to the tight environment following the birth of my second child. I experienced a full placental abruption, and we almost could not get out of our block that night. Someone had parked illegally at the end of the street, with bollards on one side and cars on the other. My husband got into a screaming match with the driver to move the car while I was severely bleeding. After that trauma, I had an intense internal response whenever I would see a street blocked carelessly.
And so, I had to ask myself whether I needed to shift my vision of living in the city and accept moving to the suburbs, which my husband and kids preferred. Moving to the suburbs has done wonders for my mental health and has given me space to process that birth trauma. It has also allowed me to be much more intentional with our time and the lifestyle we are building.
Because community does not happen as effortlessly in the suburbs as it does in the city, I have had to be very deliberate about making connections. I was fortunate to move to a block with a strong sense of community, though rebuilding a local friend group at age 41 was unexpected.
My life looks different from what I originally imagined, but it truly is the life I want. Working from home full-time is not always my favorite setup, but the flexibility it offers makes it completely worth it. We were deliberate about choosing a location with a walkable downtown and an easy commute to the city. Now, when I walk to the grocery store, I run into people I know and people waive from car windows, which I love.
The Best Routines Know When to Bend
What habits allow you to live the life that you love and achieve that definition of success?
My habits are a mix of structured and adaptable routines. On one hand, my Type-A habits keep our household running smoothly, maintain a clean environment, and ensure our future feels stable. On the other hand, my husband has helped me learn to embrace being a “B” student at times and accepting that it is okay if the house is not always spotless.
The most valuable habits are self-reflection, introspection, and remaining comfortable having open conversations about how we are evolving as individuals and within our marriage. We are no longer single people living in New York City without kids, so our routines have to adapt accordingly.
Physical fitness is another key habit. Powerlifting and CrossFit have been major passions of mine for the past few years. Currently, my schedule allows me to work early or late and flex my time once or twice a week to hit the gym at lunch. As my son’s school schedule changes next year, I will adjust my routine to wake up early and get to the gym at 6:00 AM so I can be available when he gets out of school at 3:00 PM. Remaining flexible with my routines is what allows me to grow and succeed.
The Right People Can Give You the Courage to Take the Stage
What do you think keeps women from making a bold move?
A major factor is the community we surround ourselves with. I intentionally chose a gym community filled with supportive women, including many who were older or further along in their fitness journeys, achieving impressive athletic goals. Having people in my corner who rooted for me made a huge difference.
I did not decide to enter my first powerlifting competition on a whim. A member posted about an upcoming competition in our gym group chat, and when I expressed interest, he noted that my lifting metrics were strong enough to compete. I began training with his wife, and many of my friends came out to support me at my first meet. Their support really emboldened me to take the stage.
Having that support was equally important when I transitioned from corporate finance to the non-profit sector. My community stood by me, asked thoughtful questions, and supported my decision. Even my former boss and mentor, who initially tried to talk me out of non-profit work, ultimately validated the move because she knew it was what I needed at the time. Later, when I transitioned back to corporate finance, my old network welcomed me back and helped me realize how strong my skills were. Leveraging that broader network gave me immense confidence because I realized how many people were in my corner.
Building a strong support system is vital, though I recognize that not everyone has access to the same resources or circumstances. For instance, being able to hire an organizer once a month for two hours to declutter the kids’ play area is a privilege that not everyone has.
Intentionality also extends to choosing a partner. I was very intentional about marrying someone who wanted to be an active, involved father rather than viewing his role strictly as a financial provider. Having a supportive partner makes taking bold steps much more feasible.
The Legacy That Matters Is the One You Leave in People’s Lives
What is the legacy that you hope to leave behind?
I hope to leave a legacy as meaningful as my father’s and my grandfather’s. At my dad’s 75th birthday party in May, there were more people in attendance than I would likely invite to my own 40th birthday. Guest after guest shared stories about his generosity, his support, and how he positively impacted their lives. That is the kind of legacy I want to build.
I think about my father often and strive to emulate his giving nature. He always gives people the benefit of the doubt, shows up for others, and listens with an open mind. Ultimately, I want to be remembered as one of the most caring, present, and supportive people in the lives of those around me.
Meet Jackie Appel
Jackie Appel is a finance and legal operations leader whose career journey taught her that fulfillment comes less from finding the “perfect” job and more from understanding your strengths and values. When she’s not building teams or solving problems at work, she’s chasing two little boys, training as a competitive powerlifter, or baking something for the people she loves.
Habituelle is proud to partner with the Fitler Club on The Stories—a shared commitment to elevating the voices of women leaders and creating space for the conversations, connections, and stories that inspire meaningful change.
