In this interview, Melissa Lapp-LoBasso shares how community has shaped her leadership journey, why she created Work. Life. Motherhood, and what it looks like to build a full life rooted in values, connection, and enoughness. She also reflects on the fears that keep women from pursuing new ideas, the habits that keep her grounded, and the legacy she hopes to leave for her daughters and community.
The Right Community Turns Struggles Into Strategy
How important has community been in your leadership journey to where you are today?
I recently attended an event where the speaker discussed how connections are formed, focusing on three main avenues: proximity, identity, and shared experiences. I realized that the strongest community you can build is one that hits on all three.
When I conceived the idea for Work. Life. Motherhood, it stemmed from my own experience as a working mom. I have a high-level corporate career, and after having my second daughter, I lacked a network of people with whom I could authentically connect with on the challenge of being a working parent.. I wondered if I could bring mothers together to support each other. I was not aware if those circles already existed, so I started my own – though I have since discovered others doing similar and awesome work.
Having people in your corner who can teach you, push you, and share their experiences is essential. It is important to have a group where you can commiserate, but then move past commiseration into strategy, planning, and discussing what is actually working.
Through this process, I have learned that everyone is pulling from a completely different playbook. On the surface, you might assume every family operates the same way, with two working parents and a nanny or daycare. But once you are in it, you realize everyone is patching things together in unique ways. That realization gives you more grace as a leader, for others, and for yourself. Having a diverse perspective in your community and continually returning to a tribe that will push you and keep you honest has helped me tremendously.
A Full Life Means Making Room for More Than Work
What does the life that you love look like, and are you living it?
Living a life you love comes down to values, alignment, knowing what matters to you, and being wildly strategic with your time based on those priorities. Many people feel that if their schedule is jam-packed, they must be doing something right because they are in demand. But the real question is whether you are in demand for the things you actually want to be doing.
I love my professional career and feel lucky about that.my day job. I never refer to it as a 9-to-5 because nobody works strictly 9-to-5 these days. I worked in advertising and now focus on marketing and brand strategy. I genuinely love working cross-functionally and collaborating with a team; that type of interaction has always lit me up. A demanding, fulfilling professional role is a core part of the life I have designed, and I have always enjoyed that immensely.
At the same time, you need endeavors outside of work that light you up. That realization hit me after I had children. I had been all-in on my career, and then I was all-in on my family, to the point where I felt a bit lost. It is easy to define yourself solely by your job title or as “Eleanor’s mom” or “Betsy’s mom” and that did not feel like me.
For me, a full life includes dedicated space for myself to grow and to show my kids what investing in oneself looks like. I want my children to see me not just as their mom who takes work calls, but as a person with interests, hobbies, and the ability to relax and be silly.
I enjoy leisure, free time, and alone time, though I am not checking that box as much right now. Currently, I am in a season of growing the community I started, saying yes to new opportunities, and seeing where this project leads. An ideal day involves going to the office, working, having time for lunch, connecting with my family after work or working on my side project, and going to bed by nine.
When I was working in New York City in my 20s, I was in advertising and then at American Express and I worked all the time – from 8:00 AM to 9:00 PM sometimes. And that was fine for that chapter. Today, flexibility, freedom, and mental space are essential, which requires boundaries and learning how to say no to things. That has been a hard skill to learn because we often feel pressured to do everything all at once, which simply is not possible.
Success Begins With Knowing When You Have Enough
What is your definition of success today?
Success today means being able to provide for my family and ensuring we have enough. I read a quote that the best thing you can do is know when enough is enough. That is powerful to me. There will always be a more expensive home or a more expensive lifestyle out there, but knowing that we are good where we are is key.
In our family, my husband stays home with our kids while I work outside the home. That arrangement works wonderfully for us, and we work together to maintain that dynamic. Success also means having quality time with my daughters where they feel truly seen, and giving them attention, love, joy, and lasting memories.
Finally, contributing to a broader narrative is essential. I want my kids to see me actively participating in positive conversations surrounding working motherhood and what that can look like. That desire was a major driver behind Work. Life. Motherhood. Ultimately, success is living with joy, happiness, and gratitude. I love the idea of living to make both your 8-year-old self and your 80-year-old self proud. It really is as simple as that.
Small Rituals Keep a Full Life From Feeling Overwhelming
What habits allow you to stay grounded and keep doing all that you do?
The biggest pillars for me are physical movement, personal space, sleep, and constantly checking in with my goals. I actually enjoy setting New Year’s resolutions and tracking my progress to see if I am moving in the right direction. I am also very strategic and realistic with my schedule. People often overestimate what they can accomplish in a week and underestimate what they can achieve in a year, so I try to be really intentional with my time.
It starts with taking care of myself first, which is not always easy. I know that if I show up for myself, I will be much better equipped to show up for the people around me.
I get up early and attend a workout class two or three times a week. Incorporating physical movement gets my day off to the right start. That movement has evolved over the years; I used to run, and I did yoga at one point, but now I focus on functional fitness training.
Carving out a little bit of time for myself each morning before demands begin is essential. I also maintain a self-reflection practice. It is not always formal or perfectly consistent, but I make it a point to acknowledge the things I am grateful for, whether that is finding a great parking spot or enjoying breakfast with my daughter. There really are glimmers of goodness everywhere if you notice them.
Family routines keep me grounded as well. We eat dinner together as a family every night. We sit down, say grace, share what we are thankful for, and eat. The routine usually devolves within the first three minutes, but the effort to sit down together matters to us. We also spend a lot of time with extended family, go to church on Sundays, and focus on being present.
What If It Works—The Question That Changes Everything
What holds women back from putting themselves out there and trying new things?
I think it usually comes down to fear. We worry about what others will think or say or assume about them.They question whether they are worthy of more. Fear of a negative outcome is often why women hesitate to ask for promotions or higher compensation. You have to actively shift your mindset to ask: What if it works? What if it goes really well?
When I first started Work. Life. Motherhood, I worried what people would say. Shouldn’t she be focusing on being a mom, not talking about it? What qualifications does she have for this? I thought she said she was already busy? But I realized that was about me – not anyone else.
My friend Talia gave me a powerful piece of advice when I was hesitating about posting on social media. I told her I was not sure if anyone was even paying attention, and she said, “Maybe they are, and maybe they aren’t. Who cares?” I love that mindset and return to it all the time.
We have to give ourselves permission to try. People will always have opinions regardless of what you do. You will be seen as too ambitious or not ambitious enough, too real or not real enough.
I hope this platform shows people that you can be brave and build things – whatever they are. It’s okay to try and sometimes just filling “your cup” is the goal. Starting something new can actually make you more creative, engaged, and energized in your primary career also – that has been the case for me. Everything I learn through my side project is knowledge I bring back to my corporate job, making it a complete win-win.
Leave Things Better Than You Found Them
What is the legacy that you hope to leave behind?
I would like to be remembered as someone who was thoughtful, kind, authentic, creative, and generous with her time and talents, someone who left things better than she found them.
I have been fortunate to have many advantages in my life, and I work hard to make the most of every opportunity while giving back. I serve on the boards of The Wildflower Collective and The Friends of the Haverford Library to support my community. My goal is to be a gentle, positive force who knew who she was and helped others recognize their own potential.
My grandfather passed away a few years ago. He was a passionate Eagles fan, loved golf, and attended Episcopal and Haverford College. When he passed, it was so clear to us how he wanted to be remembered and honored, and that struck me so, so hard.
To me, that clarity is the mark of a life well lived. He knew himself completely, was unapologetically himself, and left nothing on the table. His legacy continues to echo in my life because he was so authentically himself. I want to leave a similar legacy: being genuine, kind, thoughtful, and leaving things better than I found them.
Meet Melissa Lapp-LoBasso
Melissa Lapp-LoBasso is a marketing leader and community builder who believes in the power of shared perspectives to bring people together and drive growth. From working in advertising in NYC to leading client-side brand marketing and now building her own community of working moms, Melissa is passionate about creative thinking, insightful storytelling, and meaningful connection. Melissa lives in the Philadelphia suburbs with her husband, Daniel, and two daughters, Eleanor and Betsy, who keep her laughing and well-informed on all things princess. To learn more about Melissa, you can check out her Instagram at @worklifemotherhood.
Habituelle is proud to partner with the Fitler Club on The Stories—a shared commitment to elevating the voices of women leaders and creating space for the conversations, connections, and stories that inspire meaningful change.
